You’re Only as Happy as Your Power to Accept

Ron McIntyre
3 min readFeb 28, 2024

Long ago, in a distant village, there was a bit of a problem in town. Every night, somebody would break into the villager’s huts and break stuff. Sometimes, items would be stolen. Frequently, a lot of things would be ruined.

The villagers would wake up and see eating utensils, plates, and other household items strewn about. This went on for a few weeks until the town collectively could not stomach it anymore, so they asked the town, wiseman, “We have this problem. Can you solve it?”

The town wiseman said, “I got it. Come to the town square tomorrow, and you’ll see the solution to your problem.” Sure enough, when people woke up the next day, they went to the town square. Right in the middle of the town square was this huge coconut tree with a hole in its trunk.

There was a monkey with its hand stuck in the trunk. It turns out that this monkey was responsible for breaking into the villagers’ houses, stealing random food, and causing all sorts of havoc. The villagers were relieved. They couldn’t believe it.

“How did you do it?” they asked the Wiseman. They were just so amazed. The Wiseman said, “This monkey is very easy to catch. You see, I put a silver ball in the tree trunk. It caught his eye because he looked for shiny objects when breaking into your houses. He reached in and grabbed it, but he couldn’t let go. That’s why he’s stuck.”

All of us are that monkey at a certain level. We cannot let go of certain things, so we focus on them. We waste a tremendous amount of emotional energy on them. We expend immense brain processing power on them, but they never change regardless of our best efforts.

They continue to hold us back and drag us down. You must understand that, unlike that monkey, you must accept your flaws if you want to let go and be free. Understand that you are not alone and that your weaknesses do not have to define you.

This then leads to you accepting your feelings. Let’s face it. Everybody screws up. If you have the power to decide, chances are you will make the wrong decision occasionally. That’s perfectly okay, but you have to accept them.

You can’t run away from them. You can try to explain them. You can try to make up excuses for them. Accept them. You screwed up. When you do this, you put yourself in the position to move on.

Otherwise, you’re just playing games with yourself. You’re just making excuses. You’re making justifications, but the problem remains and you are drained at the end of the day.

Exercise your freedom to move on. Once you do that, things are possible once again. You’re no longer stuck. You’re no longer dwelling. You’re free.



Ron McIntyre

Ron McIntyre is a Leadership Anthropologist, Author, and Consultant, who, in semi-retirement, is looking to help people who really want to make a difference.