Why I See People Talking Over You As Rude, Not Just Aggressive

This has become a damaging and destructive norm in business and society. Unfortunately, some dismiss it as mere aggression, thus excusing it. However, I firmly believe that people talking over you is not just aggressive but also rude, a stance that necessitates a deeper understanding of underlying intentions, motivations, and social dynamics.

This behavior is not confined to a specific domain; it daily permeates senior leadership, political arenas, entrepreneurial circles, and even religious realms. The ‘my way or no way’ attitude, often due to ego or a need for control, is a key driver of talking over someone. When unchecked, this attitude can lead to a stalemate or perceived defeat. It can also derail positive projects or even life-saving treatments as someone downplays the other person’s ideas or input.

One key reason this behavior is often perceived as rude is the lack of respect it signals. Talking over someone implies their thoughts and opinions are unimportant or less valuable. Additionally, the dominant personality of the interrupter, who often asserts control over conversations, further exacerbates this perception. Imagine being in their shoes, constantly feeling undervalued and disrespected.

Conversations should be balanced, with each person given a fair chance to speak. This is not just a social norm but a crucial aspect of respectful communication that is interrupted, disrupted, and disregarded. Interrupting not only disrupts the flow of conversation but also undermines the basic principles of respectful communication. As listeners, we are responsible for engaging and respecting the speaker’s turn to talk actively.

Politeness is a fundamental aspect of social interaction. Interrupting someone mid-sentence is generally considered impolite because it disregards the basic courtesy of listening. This shows that when people are little interested in what others say, they focus more on getting their own points across.

Talking over someone can be deeply dismissive, suggesting that the interrupter does not value the other person’s viewpoint. This is not just inconsiderate but deeply disrespectful. The interrupter’s behavior reflects a self-centered approach, where their own ideas and opinions take precedence over those of others, further exacerbating the disrespect.

The impact of talking over someone during communication cannot be overstated. Effective communication relies on active listening and turn-taking. When these principles are disregarded, as in the case of interruptions, misunderstandings can occur, hindering productive dialogue and leading to frustration and perceived rudeness.

Interrupting can be seen as an assertion of dominance, which can make the other person feel undervalued and disrespected, contributing to the perception of rudeness. They may need control and feel uncomfortable when others lead conversations.

Being interrupted can make people feel belittled or marginalized, leading to frustration and resentment, often associated with rudeness. This can be tied to a desire to dominate the conversation as a group, leaving little room for others to contribute.

Conversations have a natural flow, and interruption disrupts this flow, making it difficult for the original speaker to convey their message effectively. When someone talks over, they demonstrate impatience by not waiting for their turn to speak, often cutting others off to insert their comments.

Repeatedly interrupting others can lead to a negative perception of the interrupter’s character, as it suggests they prioritize their own. They demonstrate impatience by not waiting for their turn to talk, often cutting others off to insert their comments. There is no way to reach mutual respect and understanding if others cannot talk.

Here are ten possible remedies for handling a situation where someone is trying to talk over you:

· Stay Calm and Polite: Keep your composure and avoid getting angry or defensive.

· Use Assertive Body Language: Maintain eye contact, stand or sit up straight, and use hand gestures to indicate you want to speak.

· Politely Interrupt: Say, “Excuse me, I’d like to finish my point,” or “Can I complete my thought?”

· Raise Your Voice Slightly: Not to shout, but to ensure you are heard.

· Acknowledge and Redirect: Acknowledge what the other person is saying and then redirect the conversation to your point. For example, “I understand your concern, but let me finish what I was saying.”

· Set Boundaries: Clearly state that you would appreciate the opportunity to finish speaking without interruptions.

· Use Their Name: Calling someone by name can get their attention and help re-establish conversation control.

· Pause and Wait: Stop speaking and wait for them to finish, then calmly resume your point when they stop talking.

· Seek Support: In a group setting, ask others to help you have an uninterrupted turn to speak.

· Follow Up Later: If the interruptions continue, consider addressing the behavior privately with the person to find a more respectful way to communicate.

In summary, there are alternatives when someone is talking over you, but it takes initiative and courage on your side. If they trigger your anger, they have already won because you will not regain control.