Ten Ways to Remain Tolerant When Others Are Intolerant

In today’s divisive and dogmatic society, navigating situations where others display intolerance can be challenging, but maintaining your tolerance is crucial for fostering understanding and respect. Keeping you calm when many around you argue and bash concepts you value is complex, but it can be done.

The only way to make these happen is to focus on disciplines and exercises that help you strengthen your emotions, mindsets, and willingness to not fall into the fray. I am reading many articles today encouraging tolerant leaders and people to be less tolerant, and this is a dangerous manifestation.

A number of these will look familiar to you if you have read any of my previous articles, and that is because I believe they are the core of a peaceful and joyful life.

Here are ten ways to remain tolerant in the face of intolerance:

Practice Empathy:

Try to understand where the other person is coming from. Consider their background, experiences, and the reasons behind their beliefs. Empathy can help you see the human side of differing viewpoints, and it is not difficult. However, you will find that you must park your ego at the door and focus on building bridges rather than blasting them for being intolerant or stupid. You have lost when you drop to the latter point, and it’s time to disconnect.

Stay Calm:

Keep your emotions in check. Responding to intolerance with anger or frustration often escalates the situation. A calm demeanor can help de-escalate conflict and promote a more constructive dialogue. Ask questions to understand their point of view better.

Educate, Don’t Confront:

Use these moments as opportunities to share information and perspectives rather than confronting or challenging beliefs directly. Education is a powerful tool for fostering understanding. Too often, people will embark on a crusade based on poor or complete lack of information, so educating can help refocus the discussion. The key is to stay humble and not force the education down their throat.

Set Boundaries:

It’s essential to protect your mental health. If someone’s intolerance is directed at you or crosses a line, it’s okay to set boundaries or remove yourself from the situation if necessary. Many times today, people are prone to talk over someone when the discussion gets intense, so this is a boundary that you must set to keep you focused. Personal space invasion is also vital to understand because this is very appropriate in some cultures. Setting this one, you must be aware of the setting and decide if it is genuinely an invasion or just someone being friendly. React appropriately and respectfully.

Listen Proactively:

Sometimes, people want to be heard. Listen to what they’re saying without immediately planning your response. Keep respectful eye contact and ask them if your understanding is correct. This can help build a bridge of understanding, even in disagreement. Avoid developing your response while they are talking. When answering, think before you speak to articulate a positive response whenever possible.

Focus on Common Ground:

Look for areas of agreement or shared values that can be a foundation for a respectful conversation. Highlighting commonalities can reduce the focus on differences. In business, there are always areas where you can find common areas, so be open-minded and flexible. It is much more difficult in politics because we have become so polarized that the word compromise has all but disappeared from the conversation, and in a democratic country, this should not be the case. When confronted, I recommend taking the higher road and continuing to be tolerant despite the opposition. This leads to the next point.

Model Tolerance:

Demonstrate how to agree to disagree respectfully. By modeling tolerance, you can set a positive example of how to handle differing opinions constructively. Just saying you are tolerant is opening you up to a critical review, but if you are living tolerant, there should be nothing for them to criticize

Seek Support:

If you’re struggling to remain tolerant, seek support from friends, family, or communities that share your commitment to tolerance. They can offer advice, understanding, and solidarity. However, be on guard for the possibility of cult-like structures that want to feed you their side of the issue, making you intolerant of the opposite side. Two dogmatic intolerants only lead to one thing: battles ahead.

Reflect on Your Beliefs:

Use these interactions as opportunities to reflect on your own beliefs and biases. Understanding your perspective can help you engage more openly and tolerably with others. Self-awareness is vital for building your foundation, but it is not good to list and talk about them and never adopt them as your way of life. Biases are tricky because we can easily convince ourselves that we are not biased or blame it on subconscious biases. Knowing your tendencies will free you if you are honest with yourself.

Choose Your Battles:

It is easy to win a battle and still lose the war. Not every instance of intolerance needs to be addressed directly, especially if it’s unlikely to lead to a productive outcome. Focusing your energy on situations where you can make a positive impact is usually more effective. This is about choosing and not letting someone else make your choices.

In Summary,

Remaining tolerant in the face of intolerance is not always easy, but it’s a valuable skill that promotes dialogue, understanding, and respect in a diverse global world. You may think you can avoid all this by isolating yourself from everyone else, but it will make for a miserable existence for you and those around you.

Ignoring the world and choosing not to interact with it will not make it a better place. Having traveled to many countries, I know I am much richer, having friends and associates in different countries and cultures. My vision has expanded much farther and faster than I ever expected when I was younger. The choice is yours.