Self-Control the Secret Power of Success

Ron McIntyre
3 min readJan 28


Human self-control refers to individuals’ ability to regulate their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to achieve a desired goal or outcome. This can include resisting temptations, controlling impulses, and managing stress. Using or lacking self-control can mean the difference between success and failure, loving and feeling unloved, being trusted and not trusted, and making a difference in society for the better.

Several factors can cause individuals to lose self-control. Some of the most common include:

1. Stress: High-stress levels can make it difficult for individuals to focus and make rational decisions, leading to a loss of self-control.

2. Tiredness: Being tired or fatigued can also make it difficult for individuals to stay focused and make good decisions, leading to a loss of self-control.

3. Hunger: Hunger can also cause individuals to lose self-control, as they may be more likely to give in to temptations or make impulsive decisions to satisfy their needs.

4. Emotions: Strong emotions, such as anger or frustration, can also cause individuals to lose self-control, as they may be more likely to react impulsively or make poor decisions.

5. Substance use: The use of drugs or alcohol can also cause individuals to lose self-control, as they may be more likely to make impulsive or irrational decisions while under the influence.

6. Lack of practice: Self-control is like a muscle that needs to be exercised. People who don’t practice self-control regularly might find it harder to exert it in difficult situations.

7. Social pressure: People might lose self-control if pressured to conform to the group or impress others.

8. Trauma: People who experienced traumatic events might have difficulty regulating their emotions, making self-control harder.

9. Focus on Self-Importance: In today’s media-rich environment, the focus is on putting your best foot forward, often, and the cost of others’ needs, desires, or expenses. Not having a balanced approach aggrandizes self-importance, and one loses self-control.

10. Lack of Planning: Where a lack of planning and direction are present, there will be a lack of self-control. Whatever plan you make should be reasonable and reachable yet include a stretch. Do not over-commit yourself.

11. Lack of Discipline: This will always have a by-product of a lack of self-control. Being methodical and working on a plan make a big difference when it comes to being able to master self-control. With short attention spans and a false sense of skill in multi-tasking, we tend to produce low-quality work and repeated errors. Understanding this factor’s role in the Lack of self-control is critical.

12. Instant Gratification: This is a problem today for many because the need to have it forces one to lose self-control in several areas of life. Waiting to get what you want is no longer considered a virtue.

Delaying gratification puts off short-term demands in favor of long-term futures. This is critical when reaching for your goals in life as well as in your overall well-being.

13. Attitude: a mental state learned and adapted based on experience and influences from others that influence our reactions to people, objects, and institutions. Can range from Love to Entitlement and affect our self-control mechanism in both positive and negative.

It’s important to note that everyone’s experience with self-control differs and may vary based on individual factors such as personality, past experiences, and coping mechanisms. No single answer can be applied to every person or situation, nor should it. Finding your path is the key to patience, love, and strength, so please don’t ignore this journey.



Ron McIntyre

Ron McIntyre is a Leadership Anthropologist, Author, and Consultant, who, in semi-retirement, is looking to help people who really want to make a difference.