Opening the Door to Self-Awareness

Ron McIntyre
3 min readFeb 14, 2024

Believe it or not, there’s a lot of power in letting go and moving on. I know it doesn’t feel like it. I know that, at this point, you are focusing on what happened in the past.

You’re thinking that if you were to keep dwelling on what happened, maybe you could figure it out. Maybe with enough contemplation, things would fall into place, and you would see the rhyme and reason for the negative things that happened in the past.

Well, let me ask you a question. This is not the first time you’ve thought this way. This is probably the thousandth or hundred thousandth time you’ve entertained that idea. What happened with the previous days when you felt this way? How about the day before that?

Now, the truth is that focusing on the past will not help you one bit. Life can suck pretty badly. You don’t need a graduate degree to understand that.

Everybody can see this. However, if you are completely honest with yourself, you will also understand that even though bad things happened in the past, your life is not a complete disaster.

Sure, you may be frustrated in some regions of your life. Welcome to the club. Nobody’s immune to this. This is part of the package deal of life.

You have to understand that despite your frustration and constant disappointment with some regions of your life, there are better areas. You need to have a clear map of your life. If you did, you would quickly realize it’s not entirely bleak. It’s not all black with no bright spots.

If your life is just like most other people’s lives, there will be many dark parts, but there will also be bright spots here and there. Discover these. Understand that these areas of light are hope in your life.

You haven’t completely dropped the ball in those areas. You haven’t completely screwed up. Isn’t that a cause for celebration? Isn’t that something to feel good about?

Focus on these and move on. Focus on the fact that you have control over these. Given enough time, your area of management in your life could grow. These areas of control cannot grow if you don’t focus on them. The old saying goes, “Where your focus goes, energy flows.”

How can you master your life or take full ownership of your life if a lot of your mental attention is sucked up by the things that you cannot control? I’m talking about people in the past. I’m talking about situations in the past. I’m talking about people right now that you cannot control.

Focus on your competency area, which is your choice to respond to things in your life. This is your area of control. It’s the only area of control, but the good news is the more you focus on it, the more competent and self-confident you become.

This enables you to become a more responsible and empowered person. Focus on these and move on from what you usually waste your time, attention, and emotional energy on.



Ron McIntyre

Ron McIntyre is a Leadership Anthropologist, Author, and Consultant, who, in semi-retirement, is looking to help people who really want to make a difference.