Never Apologize for Being Authentically Yourself

Ron McIntyre
5 min readDec 3, 2021

How often do you find yourself or hear others apologizing for something they did not cause or did not have any influence over? Some people seem to apologize needlessly habitually. Yes, there are many things we must apologize for, such as lying, cheating, or hurting someone.

However, we often apologize because we don’t want to offend anyone or are worried about what they will think of us if we don’t. We may be needlessly worrying about their perception of us.

If someone else’s behavior is not what we are accustomed to, we may find ourselves apologizing for their behavior, not ours.

For example, when someone bumps into you, they should be the ones saying sorry, not you. You may also be looking for their acceptance of you for being a decent person.

Being humble is a good thing; however, when we often apologize to others, we are not helping ourselves. In reality, we may be lowering our self-esteem and possibly causing unhappiness and anxiety.

The key lies in taking control of your life and not worrying so much about fitting in with others, which can result in a more enjoyable life for yourself. The other factor that must be present is a humble, forgiving attitude that allows others to be who they need to be.

Showing people your true self is not something you ever need to be sorry for as long as you can fully support yourself and have compassion and love for others simultaneously. We are all imperfect and unique in different ways. So embrace your imperfections. Just be the best version of yourself.

Here are some things you don’t have to apologize for:

Knowing when you don’t need to apologize is essential to improving your life quality and being authentic.

Here are some of those life areas to examine:

Don’t Apologize for Sticking to Your Beliefs and Voicing Your Opinion

I truly believe everyone has the freedom to stand up for their beliefs, morals, values, and opinions. It’s good to be open-minded, so you don’t have to agree with other people all the time. The fact is that many today haven’t taken the time to understand the beliefs and values they hold dear indeed.

It’s also not wrong to speak your mind or give an opinion as long as you have sorted through your biases and motivations to ensure you are being respectful and encouraging. They won’t mind when you do and may even appreciate it if you matter to them. Likewise, they need to matter to you if you are willing to share thoughts and desires in-depth.

You, like them, are entitled to express your opinion, no matter how different it is from theirs. We each have unique insights that deserve respect. So don’t apologize for standing up for what you believe in but give the other person the same consideration you are demanding.

Never Apologize for Saying No

You are not obliged to say yes if you can’t or do not want to. You may have to learn to say ‘NO,’ which is not easy to do when you have conditioned yourself to say yes to everything and everyone. It is your choice to say no. If you have considered your options and the impact of your decision, then when you say NO, you have made an informed and logical decision. There should be no need to apologize for this.

Never apologize for seeking or speaking the truth

Telling the truth is something that I hold sacred, and when someone asks me about something is only fitting that I offer up the facts. However, making sure you have researched and determined the objective truth is critical to making this right one you can count on in life. To be truthful requires that you understand your biases and how they affect your approach to the truth.

You don’t have to apologize to anyone for telling someone the truth. Typically, the people who get mad at you for speaking the truth are those who are living a lie.

Your honesty can help other people see the truth and possibly protect them from further lies. The person who wishes you lied is the one who needs to change. Also, don’t apologize for anything if you don’t mean it. Be true to yourself

You should not apologize for Self-Care

Everyone has different priorities to take care of, including ourselves. If you don’t take care of yourself, there is no way you take care of other people in your life. It’s not wrong to take care of your own needs, but it requires that we understand the balance between selfishness and selflessness.

It would help if you gave time to yourself to relax and recharge your mind and body. Giving priority to the things that matter to ‘you’ will provide you with good health, happiness, and fulfillment.

Dispel the expectations for immediate responses

Many things can wait. In a world driven by immediate gratification, you don’t need to jump to everyone else’s demands. You must prioritize the essential tasks in your life, and other people will have to wait. You cannot be productive if you are distracted by answering emails or text messages that are not critical emergencies. If they are not of vital importance, they can wait.

Never apologize for terminating toxic relationships

Unfortunately, today, toxic relationships are all around us. We find them at work, at home, and in society, but one apparent factor regarding them is that they are unhealthy for your mind and body.

Toxic people can hinder your happiness and create a cancerous attitude when left to fester. If you allow negative people to dominate your life, then there is no way you will be able to grow and empower others to grow. So never apologize for an unhappy ending.

Summary:

I believe that being authentic means that you never apologize when you choose to follow your advice and not someone else’s. Your life is what you make of it, and the choices you make are critical to your success and impact on the world. Your choices should make you feel happy, encouraged, secure, and fulfilled.

Embracing your individuality by being yourself, instead of constantly saying sorry for all that you think and do, will help you through life. But your identity must never come at the cost of someone else being deprived or disrespected.

Realize this one final fact, some people may hate you, and that’s all right. Others will respect you, and that’s all right too. Needlessly apologizing will only lower your self-esteem and self-worth. So, stop apologizing for being yourself. Choose to be authentic, respectful, supporting, empowering, and loving as much as possible.

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Ron McIntyre

Ron McIntyre is a Leadership Anthropologist, Author, and Consultant, who, in semi-retirement, is looking to help people who really want to make a difference.