How To Trust Yourself

Trusting outsiders is difficult. Counting on loved ones is challenging but trusting yourself is even more challenging. We are very self-critical, and often, we judge ourselves harshly based on the mistakes that we have made. Learning to trust ourselves is difficult but not impossible. It is something that can be done.

No one knows what you want out of life more than you do but taking other people’s advice and opinions is something we do effortlessly while we struggle to listen to our inner voices.

Trusting ourselves to make the right decisions is something that we all need to continually learn because listening to everyone but ourselves is how we make decisions that do not cater to who we are.

To get to a place where you can trust yourself, you need to know who you are, with self-awareness, and what you stand for i.e. Values. It becomes easier to live life when you are living it from an authentic place.

Spending time with yourself to understand where you are coming from and where you would like to go in life will inform your decisions. For example, if you know that you would like to be an academic, you will make decisions that ensure that you stay on the path to becoming an academic. You will not focus on things that will deter you from chasing that dream; you will be able to block outside voices and make the right decision to focus on what you want because you know what you want.

Trusting yourself becomes easier with time when you practice it. People say practice makes perfect. However, remember there is no perfection when it comes to being human. There is no manual, so you must continually learn and improve from your mistakes.

Learn to depend on yourself and to trust your instincts, experiences, knowledge, and passion. You will learn to make the right decisions; naturally, you will learn how to pick yourself up, evaluate what worked and what didn’t, and then move on. You do not always have to ask for other people’s opinions because you only need to be accountable to yourself.

It gets comfortable to rely on asking other people what you need to do or how to do it. However, it is best to try to be the first person you run to for help because it will teach you to stop checking in with other people all the time. Relying on yourself does require that you move out of your comfort zone as much as possible because it is so easy to fall back and let other people make decisions for you.

Sometimes when we make decisions, we do not always get the outcome that we initially expected. If you are an unkind person to yourself, you will constantly judge yourself for results that you have no control over.

Learning to trust yourself includes being kind to yourself. If you are kind, you will forgive yourself for your mistakes or what you feel you could have done differently.

When faced with a decision that you need to make, you will not focus solely on the negative things you have done, but you will emphasize the positives that have come out of your previous decisions. Your inner self-critic has to be fed positive thoughts so that the reference it provides you is positive. Your inner-self is always talking to you, and it is what informs the decisions that you make. That is why you need to be careful of the thoughts that you carry with you.

If you’re continually punishing yourself, you will have a hard time trusting yourself because you are constantly bashing yourself for things of the past. It would be best to learn to forgive yourself, so you are building a healthy, loving relationship with yourself.

Being delusional is not the answer, but when looking at mistakes you have made in the past, you should learn from those mistakes. Focus on the lessons because that is something that you can always learn from. Do not punish yourself for things that you cannot change, and do not brand yourself in a negative light because of things that you can learn from. Just like everyone else in your life, you deserve a second chance, and you deserve to love yourself.

Your understanding of the balance between selfishness and selflessness is paramount to a good life. If you become so focused on yourself, you can become prideful and unable to share compliments and success with others. However, if you become so focused on everyone else, you may find yourself with health and emotional issues that you will regret. It is a delicate balance that requires your attention to detail daily.

The relationship you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever be in, and you need to be intentional with what you feed your self-critic. Spend time during quiet times praising yourself for the decisions you have made that have led to you having what you always wanted. Write your successes down in a journal so you can refresh your memory. Share your successes with others as offerings of potential options. Not rigid, do this or that. They must build their own lives themselves.

Do not be the doubting Thomas of your life. You are capable of everything you set your mind to, assuming you are willing to put in the effort, understand the ethics and resources required, and focus on the person you want to be, not the person you have been.

As you practice trusting yourself, may you come to where you know that you are the most reliable confidant you have? You will not lead yourself astray if you feed your self-critic nothing but positive affirmations about who you are — the last point: always remain humble and kind.